Yesterday I received a phone call from one of my models. He was was sitting in front of his computer showing a friend his most recent photo shoot on MasculineCurves.com (in case you aren't aware, this blog is a companion to my commercial website, www.masculinecurves.com). They found a link to the blog and spent quite a bit of time reading through the posts. Model called me up to tell me how impressed he was with the blog and he didn't know I was such a profound writer. Well, I don't know that "profound" is the correct word, but nonetheless, I was flattered by his compliment.
I launched the blog last spring with the intent of developing an online arts and culture magazine for gay men. Yeah I know...how original, right? Seeing as the blogosphere is saturated with that type of content. But when I really started to get into blogging I discovered that it wasn't the arts/culture/gossip blogs I found compelling. They all seem to regurgitate the same content from one blog to another. Instead, it was the personal weblogs of ordinary people that I found most intriguing. These bloggers were actually putting out original content that was inspiring, entertaining, and provocative. I stumbled upon a world where I could live vicariously through Adam Benjamin Irby, discover common grounds with Wielding the Axe, and develop cyber crushes on hotties like Tiggah.
So, following in the footsteps of these trailblazers, I chose to take the MasculineCurves blog in a more personal direction last October. I decided it would become a blog about a 30-something, single, bi-racial, gay male who works an office job by day, and happens to take pictures of naked men by night. He's a little shy, a little reserved, and perhaps a little quirky. Would people care to read about the details of his desperate midwestern life? Well, I guess the answer is yes. When I took this approach and began writing from personal experience the hits increased significantly. Currently the blog averages around 300 to 400 hits per day and growing. I guess this means a few people out there like me. It's kind of funny because if you ever met me in person you'd discover that I am actually an extremely shy person. I tend to not like to draw attention to myself, and I feel awkward when I'm faced with a situation in which I'm forced to talk about myself. In fact, I've been told that I am so reserved that I often come across as a bit stand-offish. Clearly that's not my intention, as I just need to feel comfortable around people before I open up. But with this blog I've gotten the opportunity to put myself out there in a manner I never would have imagined. I've been able to freely express myself, share insights, and flex my creative writing muscle.
As a blogger, you're always a little nervous about the content you post. This has become such an immediate and independent medium that you don't always get the luxury of editing or proofreading. And when you put something out there that comes from a deeply personal and brutally honest place - you await the reaction with a tinge of anxiety. "Did I offend anyone? Did I alienate my audience? Can this be misconstrued?" Those were just a few of the thoughts that ran through my mind when I posted my recent commentary on being biracial. A good deal of this blog's audience is drawn from the African-American community. And while I place diversity high on my pedestal, this is the audience that I am most closely aligned. That said, having experienced life in this community I also know that we are a people that can sometimes turn our noses at those who don't fit the mold we've defined ourselves by. We call it the "Tiger Woods" syndrome, because when he first made it big on the golf scene we tried to claim him and he said "Oh no, I am not black. I am Cablinasian (and I don't blame him because he IS multi-cultural and that has been his experience).
So, like I said, I was a bit hesitant to share my viewpoint on being a person of mixed ethnicity. But I did so anyways, because if I can't be honest about who I am on the blog, then there's little value to me in publishing it. Needless to say, I received a few emails about that post, and, much to my surprise, all were positive. Here's one that I'd like to share because it exemplifies everything I love about blogging: no matter how far your message reaches, or how close to home it hits, you discover you are not alone.
Dear Aaron,
I about fell out of my chair when I read the entry that you wrote about growing up biracial in New Philadelphia! I have been a reader of the blog for a few months and I never knew where you were from or what your ethnic makeup was. I, too, grew up biracial in a small Ohio town! Massillon is an interesting place at times. Granted, there is a larger black population but, at the time, there weren't a lot of little mixed kids running around. I'm sure you can imagine what I went through attending elementary and middle schools where you were one of a few people of color. Then, to be interested in music and events other than those who looked like you. Lastly, we both attended the same college! This was a pleasant shock for me and I am glad to have shared all of these things in common with you. I wish you well and hope that you will stay strong and stay blessed!
Biracial in Ohio
Dear B.I.O.
It looks like we certainly have a lot and common, and who knows, since we come from the same neck of the woods we may even know some of the same people. I'm quite familiar with Massillon, and I'm really interested in hearing about your experiences there. It's exciting to find people out there with similar backgrounds. Let's keep in touch, and thanks so much for reaching out to me. Your message and kind words are very encouraging.
Take care,
Aaron
