Let's face it, as gay men many of us devote at least a few moments each day to perusing the web in search of pics of beautiful hot guys. It's just what we do. But seeing the same images of half-naked celebs and porno dudes regurgitated blog after blog gets old real fast. That's why there's something so refreshing about stumbling upon that special blogger who dares to distinguish himself by the original content he publishes.
I've been following Alan Bennett Ilagan's blog for almost a year now, and in my opinion he's one of the most distinguished gentlemen in the gay blogosphere today. So when Alan sent me a press release for his upcoming photo exhibition, The Eye of the Ego, I blushed and was all excited that he thought of me and my little blog. (note: bloggers love to receive press releases. It makes us feel special and important, like we're influential contributers to society.) Recently, I emailed Alan and asked him to participate in our interview series "5 questions." Fortunately for us he obliged. And now it is my honor to present 5 questions for Alan Bennett Ilagan:
Note: This interview was conducted via email correspondence.
AM: What type of camera do you use, and what type of environment do you prefer to work in?
ABI: Let me start off by saying that I am very much an amateur photographer, so I just use a regular Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi. Nothing too fancy just yet. I started out using a Polaroid Instamatic in the 80’s, so my origins aren’t that lofty! I prefer to work in controlled environments as far as ease of work goes, but I’ve probably been more thrilled with the results from natural settings. You can get all sorts of unexpected surprises – good and bad – when you take it outside.
AM: What inspires the nude self-portraiture aspect of your photographic work, and how has that influenced your self-perception?
ABI: It started out as a form of self-analysis and self-study, and then it went into a period of sheer exhibitionism, but it’s really evolved into a study of the human form. The main reason is also one of necessity – I’m not sure how I’d feel about shooting someone else nude, so I have to use myself. The vain part of me also wanted to document how I looked when relatively young, so one day I can look back and remember.
AM: Self-portraiture can be a challenging task for even the most experienced of photographers, yet you capture your images flawlessly. I’m curious about your process for setting up a shot. (Do you ever use an assistant, etc?).
ABI: Thank you for saying that. I actually don’t use an assistant, so it’s all about the camera timer. Also, I don’t show off the hundreds and hundreds of bad shots that go into finding one decent one! There’s a great deal of experimentation and a lot of mistakes that have to happen along the way. It’s constantly a learning process, which is what keeps it exciting and interesting. The process begins with an idea or an image I have in my mind, then I set up the background or find somewhere to shoot and figure out the basic composition and mood of the shot. I’ll take a few test shots at that point. Digital is great because you can get an idea of what the photo will look like, though even with the larger screens it’s still impossible to tell exactly how things are turning out until you get them printed. (I came late to the digital game, so that instant return is still a thrill and a convenience that I appreciate.) Finally, I’ll put myself into the photo, set the timer, and hope for the best. If the focus isn’t correct I’ll sometimes have to set up an object to stand in for me, which can be rather comical. I’ve used garbage bags (quite fitting when you think about it!), coat racks draped in robes, and shirts hung on bamboo rods as stand-ins. Basically, whatever is around at the time!
AM: Having followed your blog for some time now, and reading about and seeing pictures of your family it’s clear that you have a multi-cultural background. Can you tell us a little about your background? Has being multi-cultural had an influence on the person you’ve become today?
ABI: It has definitely been an influence, but not as much as my sexuality. I think we take the most salient difference we feel in ourselves and make that our focus, so for me being bi-racial took a second seat to my being gay. However, it definitely played a part in my growing up in an almost-all-white neighborhood and school. My Dad is Filipino and my Mom is mainly German and English, and my brother and I were raised with an equal influence of both sides. I was cognizant that we were different from the other kids, but being gay overrode that difference. There were also class differences that I think played a part in my upbringing. Since my Dad was a doctor, we had a lot of things that other kids didn’t have, and that sort of off-set the racial differences. The bottom line was that being multi-racial and gay simply made me keenly aware that I was different, so to hide it I just developed an armor of aloof confidence.
AM: My final question comes from the pure salacious nature of my curious mind. I’ve noticed you never display full-frontal shots on your blog. Recently, you posted a statement about your upcoming show The Eye of the Ego, where you said “You won’t believe your eyes.” Which leads us to believe we’ll see some things we haven’t seen on the blog before. So my question is, will we ever see ALL of Alan Bennett Ilagan?
ABI: Probably not while I’m alive, but who knows what the future will bring? My whole problem and concern is that once you do that, it becomes all about the dick. It’s so difficult to do full-frontal male nudity that doesn’t devolve into something less than what you intended. The focus goes right there and the photograph, no matter how grand it might be, is somehow drained of something. I also find it much more erotic to see a glimpse and a hint of something rather than have it blatantly on display. I like the mystery of that, as well as the constant challenge of how to show a lot without showing everything. If I can find a way to do it naturally and in an artistic way, I would entertain the idea, but I haven’t come up with anything yet.
