MasculineCurves

Invisible Life... Thank you E. Lynn!

I remember reading Invisible Life. I believe it was sometime around the spring of 1998. I was a junior in college, and there was a mega-Border's Books and Music store near campus. I used to stop in and peruse what seamed like stacks upon stacks of, well, books and music. I was amazed by the fact I could find a book on just about any topic there. Though, there was one section I shied away from, "gay studies."  I was always curious about what reading materials I might find in that narrow corner near the back of the store. But I was paranoid that if I went over there someone I knew would see me and discover my little secret. I wasn't a good enough liar to pull off the "this is for research" line.So I only allowed myself to get close enough to "those" books to make pandering glances that never really satisfied my curiosity.  

However, on one particular day I somehow got up the courage to go over to the forbidden corner and dive into the titles. It was then that Invisible Life jumped out at me. Of course, the book cover's artwork was very intriguing (which is a main strategy behind selling a book). But it struck me because, unlike all the other gay literature on the shelf, the it featured people of color. And I didn't really know what being a black gay man was about, nor at that time did I identify much with black men period (given my upbringing). But I knew this book was a must read. It was the first gay-themed novel I ever purchased, but certainly not the last.

I read the book in like two days. That's how captivated I was with the story and the the main character Raymond. I wanted so much for him to be honest with himself, just as I wanted to be myself. He wasn't a sissy, or weird, or sick, or anything that I had previously understood "gay" to mean. He was a normal well-adjusted guy just like me. 

The day I finished the book I was sitting in the student center grabbing a bite to eat in between classes. When I got to the very last sentence I was blown away by what I had read. This story had helped me in a way I never thought possible. 1998 was the year I started coming out to friends (family was later). It was a slow, cautious process, but this book encouraged me to be the best me that I can be. It taught me that being gay was not synonymous with being effeminate or second class. I could be attracted to other men, and still be a man. Until then the only depiction of black gay men I had ever seen was the outrageously flamboyant duo Blaine and Antoine from the In Living Color t v skit "Men on Film." E. Lynn's words painted a very different picture for me.

When I finished the book that day, I knew I had read something powerful. I set it down on the table and walked away. I left it sitting there in the student center in the hopes that it would be a gift for some other gay student who was afraid to peruse the LGBT section of the bookstore. It was something I wanted to pass along.... To this day I wonder who happened across my abandoned copy of Invisible Life... did it end up helping anyone else?

Thank you E. Lynn....

The Day I Stopped Being Pretty

I've always believed that each and every one of us has a compelling story to tell. And I've always believed that we could all glean a few lessons simply from listening to what other's have to say about their own personal journey.

I first heard about The Day I Stopped Being Pretty by Rodney Lofton, a few months ago on Ian's blog. So I put it on my reading list and finally got around to it last week.

"I am not soliciting, nor do I want your pity, because everything that has happened to me has been of my own doing. I take responsibility for my actions. I am not here to lay blame on anyone. But be advised, there were supporting players and contributors to my life of love, happiness, anguish, and pain. You will not hear about all of them, there were far too many to count. But you will hear about the key figures that played a pivotal role in my great rise and fall and my future ascension."

Once I read this statement in the book's preface I knew that Lofton was preparing me for an emotionally raw journey into the traumatic back story that turned him into the man he became today. No, this is not the feel good story of the year, but it certainly is an honest confession about one gay man's quest for love and self-acceptance.

The Day I Stopped Being Pretty centers on Lofton's relationship with his emotionally distant father, of whom as a child he desperately sought approval, and as an adult he eagerly sought to replace through a series of abusive relationships.

Interestingly, I recognized a few characteristics of some of  my own past relationships in Lofton's story. I even found some uncanny similarities between what Lofton experienced and the experiences of some of my closest friends. It reinforces what I've come to believe about the gay community. And that is that so many of us allow ourselves to fall victim to the "victim" syndrome. "I love him, and I know somewhere deep down inside he loves me. I know doing this (or that) is bad for me. But if I do it, he'll see just how much I care for him, and he will love me." Well, stop bullshitting yourself kiddo. It's frightening the extraordinary lengths we will go to in order to gain acceptance from those around us.

The Day I Stopped Being Pretty is the kind of book you will be thankful you read. It's filled with the emotional wisdom so many of us need to discover. And it is my belief that some kid (or grown man) out there will, one day, attribute this book to saving his life.

Click here to buy The Day I Stopped Being Pretty from Amazon.

"In Love With A Thug" Review and Discussion Guide

It's Thursday, and as promised, I'm posting my commentary and discussion guide for Reginald L. Hall's novel In Love With a Thug. I have to be honest, I was not familiar with this author when I picked up the book on a whim, so I really did not have high expectations. We live in an era when digital printing technology has made it incredibly easy for so-called writers to self-publish and fly-by-night publishing houses are putting books on shelves with little attention to editorial detail. I can't begin to tell you how many books I started last year and was not able to finish because of the shear junk that filled the pages. Authors are scripting stories with little or no situational research, typos are now commonplace, and apparently grammar has all but flown out the window. It's details like these that turn the critical reader off. However, with Mr. Hall's novel, I'm pleased to report this is not the case. Let me just say, the boy can tell a hell of a story!

I finished In Love With a Thug in just two days, and if it weren't for the fact that I had to get some sleep I don't think I would have put the book down. It's a page turner filled with thrilling suspense, intense sexuality, and tons of emotional baggage. Hall seems to have crafted a clever style when it comes to character development. He doesn't overstate personalities when characters are introduced to the reader. He only gives us the detail we need to know for the moment and makes room for the character to become more complex as the story unfolds. Both the villains and heroes in the story are unpredictable and make choices we won't understand until more is revealed about their backgrounds. This gives the plot the lee-way to take some unexpected twists that lead to a surprise ending.

As far as sex, there's a plenty of it going on here. Thankfully, Hall leaves little to the imagination when it comes to eroticism, and many scenarios may leave you with an orgasm of your own. What's most refreshing about this novel is that it's clearly written by a black gay male for a black gay male audience. You won't be disapointed.

The book comes with it's own discussion guide, however, based on what I personally took from the reading I've come up with a few questions of my own. In Love With a Thug certainly rates high on my recommendation list. If you haven't purchased the novel yet, you may do so by clicking on the Amazon link under the "Aaron's Choice" widget in the far right column of the blog.

Aaron's Discussion Guide

1. Much of black gay literature is written from the perspective the author thinks the audience will most identify with, and that is portraying the main character as a masculine, straight-acting top, or a sensitive, educated brother. In Love With a Thug's main character, Juan, is a petite, effiminate, flamboyant ball-room queen with a pretty face. Not to mention he's a proud bottom to boot. As the author reveals more about Juan's background can you emphasize with him?
2. All of the sexual situations described in the book consist of bareback sex. Does this type of fiction literature have a social responsibility to address the current state of the HIV/AIDS in the black community? Did the author lend sensitivity to this issue?
3. When it comes to choosing a lover, Juan is incapable of deciphering the difference between who is good for him and who doesn't have his best interests at heart. What does this say about his self-esteem?
4. When he was a teenager Juan came out of the closet and his parents disowned him. What do you think motivates his mother to change her attitude towards her son after his father dies years later? Is she and Juan alike in the sense that they are willing to make sacrifices to please the men in their lives?
5. A compulsion towards thugs, drugs, and crime causes Juan's life to spin out of control and he loses everything. Is it too late for Juan to rehabilitate himself? Has the author ended the story in a manner that leaves an opportunity for a sequel? (note: if you leave a comment on the blog, please be careful not to spoil the ending).

Next up on Aaron's Book Club

As you know I've been reading Sydney Poitier's Measure of a Man (see my posts here and here) which I'm sure to finish on the bus ride to Chicago tomorrow (yes, that's right I take the bus from time to time -- no shame, it's cheap).  Since it's a six-hour trip I went to Borders today to pick up something else to occupy my mind during the ride.  That's where I stumbled across Reginald L. Hall's new book In Love with a Thug.  I'm not familiar with this author, but the the synopsis looked interesting and I figured after reading something as deep and prolific as Poitier's autobiography (which I highly recommend, by the way) it is time for some entertaining fiction.

During college, Juan Jiles fell in love with Darnell, who convinced Juan to help him rob one of Philadelphia's largest banks. During the heist, Darnell is killed, and Juan escapes with more than $175,000. After mourning the loss of his lover, Juan begins rebuilding his life and uses the money to open a popular celebrity hair salon.
    Then along comes Bryant Thompson, a street thug with drugs, drama, and deception in tow. Juan falls in love with the hustling, muscle-bound Bryant and soon succumbs to Bryant's addictive world. Juan's life starts to spin out of control and he realizes that his meeting Bryant didn't happen by chance.
    A story of a man doomed by passion, In Love with a Thug is by turns a humorous, tragic, and hard-hitting look at the cost of destructive love and the price some pay for true happiness.

Okay, so I'm not going to go all "Oprah" on everyone, but I invite you to join me in discussing this book on the blog. Starting on Thursday (1/4) and each Thursday thereafter in the month of January I'll post a question or statement about something in the book and leave it up for discussion here. So if you're up for reading along with me get ready to head out to your local bookstore to pick up In Love with a Thug, or just order it from Amazon by clicking on the link under the "Aaron's Choice" widget in the far right column of the blog (as a reminder whenever you order an item through an Amazon link on MasculineCurves a percentage of your sale will help support this blog). I won't take responsibility if the book turns out to be a snoozer or if it just so happens to be a suspenseful page turner. That will be something we'll have fun discovering together. Happy reading!

Measure of a Man

Last month I began reading Sidney Poitier's book Measure of a Man. You would have thought that I'd be finished with the book by now, but I had to put it down for a few weeks due to some competing priorities. So this morning as I was having brunch at Juji's Cafe (as is my routine every Sunday morning) I chose to pick it up where I left off.

In the fifth chapter, "A Patch of Blue," I came across an analogy that struck a profound chord in me:

"Governor Wallace, before his death, said he was sorry for what he had done, and he spoke of the harm and the pain his views and actions had caused. Jesse Jackson went to see him, and I think a form of absolution took place. When you genuinely and sincerely apologize for harm and pain, it's a sign that your life has taken you to another place from where you were when you caused harm and pain and had no apologies to make. But the process is never simple, and words can never undo lives destroyed."

Of course Poitier is referring to George Wallace, the Alabama governor who was extremely pro-segregation at the time of the desegregation movement in the South. This passage rang so clearly with me because it reminds me that in life you get an opportunity to evolve. Anyone can change over time. You may hold a strong conviction towards a particular viewpoint at one stage of your life, but sometimes you come to learn that you're not always right. But this passage also goes on to convey that it's not okay to not be right. Viewpoints and convictions need to be questioned and need to be evaluated for the harm that may occur because of them. It brings me to the gay marriage issue and all the hoopla about protecting families. Why are do so many people feel so strongly about something that will most likely have no impact whatsoever on them? Meanwhile their viewpoints have hindered the pursuit of happiness for hundreds of thousands of others. 

What I'm currently reading

Sidney Poitier's Measure of a Man: a spiritual autobiography has been on my reading list for a number of years. I just hadn't gotten around to it until I received a care package from my godmother, Lisa (bless her heart), last week.  Just when I've been in need of a little inspiration this couldn't have come at a better time.

I tend to be a very slow and deliberate reader, so it may often take me a month or so to get through a 200 or 300 page book (really).  It all depends on what's going on in my life at the time and how many competing priorities I'm juggling.  Plus, I tend to pause and digest what I'm reading, and if a specific passage strikes me in a certain way I will take a few moments to just sit back and let me mind ponder.

I find Poitier to be such a source of inspiration probably for all the obvious reasons.  Here you have a black man, born and raised in the Bahamian Islands with little education, who went on to become one of the most respected and celebrated film stars of all time.  Not to mention he did this in a time when most of us were sitting at the back of the bus and our grand mamas and great grand mamas were cleaning rich white folks' homes.  I can only imagine what obstacles he had to overcome, and what I hope to glean from his story is uncovering the mindset one must be in to take on such challenges.  How often do you get to hear a first hand account from someone who experienced life at that time, and has lived long enough to know what it's like today?

Throughout the first few chapters Poitier gives colorful descriptions as to how poor, yet beautiful his childhood on Cat Island was:

"There wasn't a paved road on Cat Island.  There wasn't a telephone on Cat Island.  There were no stores except for a few petty shops, so my clothes were made out of the cloth of grain sacks.  But Cat Island had plenty of paths.  You walked pathways--trails that were there just because people had chosen a particular route as the quickest way for them to get from point A and point B.  But most pathways were no more than maybe three or four feet wide.  On either side of the three or four feet things grew wild.  There were weeds, yes, and bushes and trees, but flowers were almost everywhere, and they bloomed like crazy.  There were summer flowers, and flowers that responded to the weather, to the temperature, and many, like the sapodilla, that were in the habit of blooming several times a year."

In another intriguing passage, he gives us an idea of what life was like as a young man living in Harlem during its heyday in the 1940s:

"The Harlem that I knew for fourteen years was an amazing place--a fabled destination well known in African-American communities throughout the country.  Its dazzling power drew visitors of many races from many places to experience by taste, by smell, by touch its bewitching energies, its mysterious vibrations, and its signature rhythms, each of which was said to be in the very air a visitor breathed.  And all of Harlem's visitors were encouraged to believe that each breath they took would also contain spiritual blessings that came flowing out of the soul of its loving people through the gateways of their hearts."

I'm just a little less than half-way through the book and I'm really looking forward to finishing it.  Given all of Sidney Poitier's accomplishments and experiences in his life and times, any one of us should know that we have the strength to push through whatever we believe is holding us back from our dreams.

The Censoring of Jonathan Plummer

Although it'€™s been a few years, I'€™m still not sure what to think about the whole Jonathan Plummer/Terry McMillan divorce scandal. We first heard the name Jonathan Plummer when McMillan--author of How Stella Got Her Groove Back, which is based on their relationship--filed for divorce, claiming that Plummer hid the fact that he was gay in order to marry her for her money and gain U.S. citizenship. McMillan went on to cry "i'm just a poor rich black woman who married one of them there downlow mens" to boost her publicity tour when her 2005 novel €œThe Interruption of Everything€ dropped. C'mon Terry, as if you're the first woman that'€™s ever happened to. And shame on your tight group of girlfriends (you know the supporting characters in your stories). One of them should have pulled you to the side and gave you the truth straight up "...€œuhhm, girl... He's half your age and twice as pretty as you. He don'€™t play for our team."

Anyways, if there’s one thing that Plummer must have learned from his ex-wife is that a little controversy always helps when you have a book to sell. This month, he hits the book stores with Balancing Act, the true story fictional account of a really phyne young Jamaican sugar cane peddler who is spotted on the street by a brash, older modeling scout while she is vacationing on the island. He goes to work for her as a model, and needless to say, their relationship turns to more than just business. However, things go awry when the sugar boy-turned-male-model-megastar discovers a hidden lust for one of the other guys in the agency. Sound familiar? I only wonder if they’ll be able to get Angela Bassett and Taye Diggs to reprise their roles when Balancing Act makes it to the silver screen. I, for one, will definitely be demanding another infamous shower scene.

To add fuel to the fire, it looks as though one independent Bay Area book seller has chosen to turn its nose on the profits to be made on this tale of temptation. According to a statement released on Monday by Joe Hawkins, host of the online gay talk show “Real Talk,” he is not surprised. “However, I am disappointed. I called Marcus Books and asked if they were selling the book. The woman who answered the phone said that they were not selling the book now and wouldn’t be in the future. When I asked the woman why, she stated that it is the bookstore’s personal preference not to sell the book. I just believe that the practice of not selling a book just because you don’t like the author is a disturbing form of censorship,” said Hawkins.

Mark Plummer, personal manager and cousin of Jonathan stated "I am very disappointed to hear that Marcus Books is not stocking Balancing Act by Jonathan Plummer and Karen Hunter.  Why Marcus Books would ban a novel that encourages compassion and understanding instead of homophobia--in the community that needs it most--is indeed very sad but not a surprise.  Terry McMillan has gone to great and personally humiliating lengths to prevent the publication and distribution of this book.  Balancing Act is fiction with a purpose and it will prevail with or without the support of Marcus Books," said Plummer.

Whether this is a case of homophobia or Jonathan-o-phobia, it doesn't matter.  I'm always up for a tantalizing read.  For those of you in the Oakland area, Keeping It Real Online TV will be hosting a book signing for Plummer on Sunday, September 30, 2007, at the Bates House in Oakland, California from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. (399 Bellevue Avenue).

What do you think?

Does an independent "mom-and-pop" book store have the right to ban a book based on personal bias, or is this censorship? How would it be different if it were one of the major chains, like Barns & Noble or Amazon.com? 

Award Winning Gay Authors Give Their Book Away – FREE!

When authors Dale Colclasure and David Jensen were asked the question, "Why are you giving your book away?" Both responded simultaneously, "Why not?" The two authors have launched a website, named after their book entitled, GIFT OF THE SOUL (www.GiftOfTheSoul.com) where readers can download the entire book as a PDF file for FREE.

Colclasure and Jensen, award-winning authors, columnists and public speakers, both strongly believe in giving back to society. "There is such a shortage of inspirational material for the gay and lesbian community and we feel strongly about making this type of material accessible to anyone and everyone who wants it," states Jensen.

Colclasure follows up with, "In today's world, we are constantly confronted with negativity, threats of terrorism and fear. This book is uplifting and inspirational and helps counterbalance with positive messages and feel-good exercises. Now, more than ever, the world needs this kind of book."

In just a short period of time, the word of mouth site is quickly becoming one of the most popular destinations for gays, lesbians, bisexual, transgender and queer individuals seeking inspirational words in novel form.

GIFT OF THE SOUL is the story of a gay youth questioning his place in the world who meets up with a master - one who teaches him many life lessons. An inspirational and simple read, the book is touching right to the soul.

Colclasure and Jensen want to encourage others to pursue their dreams while making a difference in the world.

For a free copy of their book, visit: http://www.GiftOfTheSoul.com